northanger (northanger) wrote,

lighthouse down under

[lighthouse down under]

If your need is to know, not only with the warm wisdom of instinctive intelligence, but also with effective precision, you must first suffer the guillotine. Only after you have disentangled two strands of a single thread and laid them carefully side by side can you twist them together by your own act. The mind must have learnt to distinguish soma absolutely from psyche before it can be in a position to trace their interaction with the requisite finesse; and this applies not only to the human organism, but also to nature as a whole. —"The Case for Anthroposophy", Owen Barfield

Language and reality are intertwined with such great intimacy that we may say that we truly do "speak the world into existence." Of course we can only understand this ancient wisdom today by speaking of how the unconscious psyche forms the world. It is our unconscious that has the power of logos whereas our conscious speech is usually without such world-forming power.

I have lived under siege for about twenty years. My only qualification for this honour is that I was wounded. As Leonard Cohen says somewhere, it is the cracked pots that let in the light. Not only was I wounded, but I was also marginalized, set apart from society through my own sense of having a special mission, simultaneously feeling that I had much to give society and believing that society could easily swallow me up, making me and my gifts disappear. So I wandered around the edges for years, making forays into the community with my latest discoveries from "the other side" and then scurrying away like a frightened animal when I was met with a challenge or even mild criticism which asked me to bring my precious treasure into some relationship to the world's goings on.

I am in bed and I am dreaming of a woman who is inside of me skin to skin. She is beginning to separate from me and is kissing me from the inside, making love to me. I am aroused but also scared too. It feels uncanny to have someone in my skin, sharing my body. I begin turning to see her. I want to see her but she resists me. It's like one body moving to two separate wills. I get scared but I manage to turn around expecting to see a witch. I see a young woman like A. I look into her eyes deeply and I see the universe of stars.

Gradually as I surfaced I began to plan my eventual emergence into the community. But which idea will I use? Any one will do! Living in a culture that accepts new exciting ideas is a godsend. People are attracted to new ideas just on that basis, that they are new. Surely out of the twenty years of being inundated by intuitions, I can select one that I can ride to fame or fortune, or at least to a good livelihood? It's just a matter of getting the word out!

Your brothers in the West will learn, indeed they are beginning to suspect already that within each of them, deep hidden and hitherto unconscious, there lives a fury of destructive force, beside which the destructive forces in nature pale —The Meggid

CG Jung's Answer to Job (1952) is a record of Jung's personal experience of encountering the Creative Power that lies "behind" evolutionary movement and his discovering the terror of its "amorality." His culture shaking conclusion is that the human being must find a moral stance within himself even while in the midst of an elemental storm that seems to have no moral aspect. This moral stance is born out of a conviction of the absolute significance of the individual human being, that human beings do belong to the evolutionary flow and that indeed the human individual may be the pinnacle of that evolutionary "direction."

It is Ground Zero, A large cleared area of gray sand and dirt with concentric rings, like a target, radiating from the center. The ground is slightly raised at the center, like a discus, slopping away to the eges. I sense that She is going to explode. I am right at the epicenter. She is going to destroy us all and this means Herself in an apocalypse of rage, despair, loathing, hate and grief because of our stupidity. I must get away from the epicenter now. I spring across the field, down the slight incline to the periphery of the field and sprawl prone, with my head facing the center, just as She explodes. The wind starts from the center and blows out (in contrast to the natural phenomenon which sucks up). It begins as a breeze, increasing in strength and intensity until it becomes an unbearable shriek. Lying face down, I am sheltered by the slope as the wind rips over my back. But I mustn't raise my head at all—a few inches of protection and that's it! Then I know the shriek is Hers. I 'see' Her standing at the center, and a poem bursts spontaneously out of me as I record the experience:

The Goddess,
In Her Agony.
Incomparable Grief and Rage
Divine Suffering
Excruciating Pain
Such Terrible Agony
Beauty, Sublime Beauty

How is Love possible?
Yet this is what I feel.

. . . I have been returned from a visionary place to my ordinary life. Then, I wake up. Following this dream-vision, I had the huge task of understanding it. It was a direct perception of the objective condition of the world as communicated to me from within. Although it is indeed a vision of the end times, I do not regard it as a prediction of the future, to be taken literally. Rather, if I stay close to my actual experience in the vision then I find that a surprising meaning unfolds. As I was exposed to the suffering of the goddess, I was filled with horror, rage and despair. Although these intense emotions were within me, they were not merely personal, they were also of the goddess. That is to say the intense suffering I experienced found their source in the goddess not in my ego. I had to endure the full intensity of my/Her suffering through participation in the phenomenon, and then in my darkest moment a complete turn around occurred. Out of that black despair came a new emotion, which produced the poem. It was Love! I felt love emerge in me out of the horror.

I was shaken to my core by the experience and by the poem that lay before me. Yes, the vision has to do with the future but not literally so. I understood that if I could take into myself the suffering of the world as it is today in actuality, if I could endure a personal experience of the suffering of the world, then a transformation will occur in which LOVE may be born in me. I believe this LOVE is what the future holds for each of us, if we can in turn hold the reality of the present within us, consciously, unsparingly, uncompromisingly, through the wisdom of the "I".

My dream-vision taught me that the future wishes to unfold from within the actual conditions of life today as they appear in the experience of each of us. If we each can embrace that experience, as difficult as it can get at times then we each voluntarily offer ourselves up as a vessel for the incarnation of the future which is Love. [Paticipatory Consciousness]


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