northanger (northanger) wrote,

catalytic exteriorization phenomenon

it took three espresso machines until i finally read the directions on how to properly prime the machine. build up steam, heat milk; release steam, make espresso. noticed a mound of milk at the side of the metal cup today. slightly adjusted cup, ignoring anomaly, until i had to release the steam. near the bend in the steam arm, as the pressure dissipated, hot water started spritzing in three locations. got goose bumps.

our family historian is my sister. so my psychiatrist asked me to sign another release form for her. think the story about my sister's dyslexia is that my mother was told about the possibility, but refused to believe it. i guess my sister experienced something similar to lefties being forced into human pretzels. tremendous relief for her when she was finally diagnosed as an adult. when i spoke to her today it was like listening without the earwax. she repeated that dad (herr doktor) thought i was bi-polar & managed to shush me long enough to tell me she disagreed with that diagnosis. it occurred to me that herr doktor probably needs to remember that we're not only doctor's daughters, but herr doktor's daughters. (besides, too many misdiagnosed folks are correctly diagnosing themselves today).

goose bumps because of the possibility of someone correctly diagnosing something (whatever it is) i've had to struggle with my whole life. while the narration in "Autism Is A World" is by actress Julianna Margulies, the words are Sue Rubin's. they thought she was retarded until age 13, but actually she's a non-verbal, low-functioning autistic who's now attending college. she writes, "very narrow areas of interest give [high-functioning people] away". i don't think high-functioning is so "high" if it's willing to work in a sweatshop. it wasn't easy watching "Autism Is A World" because Sue's behavior is a faint echo of my own (that's vice versa :). hopefully that slip shows how much i admire her). that's the missing earwax, listening to the boots on the ground person (my sister) & what she's had to deal with.

so i tell the psychiatrist i think Hurricane Katrina is going to have a delayed reaction from blacks. she agrees. who has the authority to diagnose something? what happens when a class of people recognize they've been misdiagnosed?

my steam arm springs a leak right after talking with my sister & i still had goose bumps while drinking my coffee. which reminded me of Jung's catalytic exteriorization phenomenon. from page 155-156 of Memories, Dreams, Reflections:

It interested me to hear Freud's views on precognition and on parapsychology in general. When I visited him in Vienna in 1909 I asked him what he thought of these matters. Because of his materialistic prejudice, he rejected this entire complex of questions as nonsensical, and did so in terms of so shallow a positivism that I had difficulty in checking the sharp retort on the tip of my tongue. It was some years before he recognized the seriousness of parapsychology and acknowledged the factuality of "occult" phenomena.

While Freud was going on this way, I had a curious sensation. It was as if my diaphragm were made of iron and were becoming red-hot—a glowing vault. And at that moment there was such a loud report in the bookcase, which stood right next to us, that we both started up in alarm, fearing the thing was going to topple over on us. I said to Freud: "There, that is an example of a so-called catalytic exteriorization phenomenon."

"Oh come," he exclaimed. "That is sheer bosh."

"It is not," I replied. "You are mistaken, Herr Professor. And to prove my point I now predict that in a moment there will be another such loud report!" Sure enough, no sooner had I said the words than the same detonation went off in the bookcase.

To this day I do not know what gave me this certainty. But I knew beyond all doubt that the report would come again. Freud only stared aghast at me. I do not know what was in his mind, or what his look meant. In any case, this incident aroused his mistrust of me, and I had the feeling that I had done something against him. I never afterward discussed the incident with him. [+]
Tags: jung

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