September 21st, 2005


my kingdom for a pack of smokes

it's like playing chicken on the astral plane. i have no cash (no credit either), no rent, no job & no fucking cigarettes (as of 1pm yesterday). lol, while hurricane rita zooms through the gulf of mexico i'll be experiencing TCT, total cold turkey: shelter, food, caffeine & nicotine. seriously, i haven't had a decent cup of coffee for a week. what am i worried about? ok, {a} maybe my sister will give me enough money so i can do a decent cleanup job before leaving this apartment, {b} who can i call to pick up a couch, two tv sets, a computer desk & a new california king bed? (i mean, i am my mother's daughter).

because my sister signed the lease to get me in here she's obligated to pay my rent. she's pissy because i'm telling her: pay half, the other half comes from the security deposit, & i'm outta here. but, i'm not moving in with her. i have no gas, no car insurance (heck, i have no health insurance either). i have no bank account, no savings & no golden pieces of eight.

a couple of months ago my sister told me her very worst nightmare — which involves me. she told me the other day this is coming true.

and you wanna know something? i just want a fucking pack of cigarettes (with a hot pastrami & cherry coke). rotflmao.


went to the stove, picked up the pot & a spoon to eat my last consumable: chicken noodle.

i'm all in.